The Cocktail Party

I guess I’ve gotten a little uppity ever since I realized that I had the right to vote, express myself, get paid equally, do math, etc… 

But WTF?!  Tosh.O is encouraging men to touch women’s stomachs without their consent and then upload the footage online. 

The great thing about being a former attorney (ladies get to go to school now too!) is that I’m not a complete moron. An unwanted touching like that is more than likely a criminal act or civil tort (depending on your jurisdiction). Its called assault and/or battery. Heres a link to learn more about how little you have to touch someone for it to be a civil battery. 

So. To the men stupid enough to do this. You’re literally supplying to the world… EVIDENCE that can be used to prosecute or sue you. So please, keep uploading that footage. And ladies, please press charges and sue them in civil courts. I don’t normally support lots of lawsuits, but in this case, SUE AWAY!

No. But it is a sin that you have a job. This question was written during the recession, and you very clearly still have some sort of job.  

Rick Santorum: gay people not be allowed in the military, also should stop being gay altogether. 

Except  white Americans account for the largest percentage of welfare payments each month… 

My New Years Wishes for US America – 2012

FINANCIAL:

Let’s use pennies more (I dare someone to tell me that using a sack full of coins to purchase a Happy Meal, doesn’t make you feel pretty dang rich. Not to mention Happy. And later, full. And then later, maybe a little sick. But I know one thing: don’t blame it on the pennies)

GOVERNMENTAL:

Let’s get rid of any socialized benefits we get as a result of paying taxes. (social security, unemployment, highways, FBI, libraries, parks , education, etc.) Our taxes should go to one thing, and one thing only: wars in countries we’ve never heard of and/or can’t locate on a map.

Let’s only elect politicians we relate to on some sort of quasi-emotional level. Education and qualification are big, hard to spell, words. Just words, guys.

HEALTH(AL):

Let’s eat more processed foods with unpronounceable ingredients. (If we wanted our food product to have pronounceable ingredients, we’d make it at home).

If we get the choice to drive or walk, let’s always drive. (The large Home Depot doors, etc.. doors are a tacit invitation for your car)

And finally, let’s for once and for all, debunk that “Dance like no ones watching” poem, and call it what it is - a trick to get us to exercise.

Happy Last Year on Earth.
(thanks Mayans, for the heads up)